


This Isn't a Joke

by ReticentResolve



Series: In which Johnny Gat and Damian bang [1]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Driving, Established Relationship, Friends With Benefits, I know it's Saints Row, Like, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Male Boss (Damian), Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reckless Driving, but yeah, just be aware of that, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 04:55:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReticentResolve/pseuds/ReticentResolve
Summary: Johnny has the bright idea to proposition the Boss while they're fleeing a crime scene...





	This Isn't a Joke

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I give all of you permission to download this, open it in wordpad, and ctrl+h all of the times I typed "Damian" into whatever the name of your saints row dude is. I don't mind, and I don't want to be shoving my o.c down people's throats. But I kind of based the character around acting mostly like the "playa", so hopefully he isn't too annoying.

A dark blue sedan screeches to a halt, stopping inches away from Johnny's mildly bemused face. The man inside pauses for a moment before almost punching the horn of the car. "Gat, what're you doing, get the fuck in!"

Johnny scoffs, but still vaults himself over the hood of the car and quickly enters the passenger seat. A moment later has Gat almost tearing his pistol from his belt and Damian stepping on the gas pedal so hard that it almost has Gat worried that it'd snap off. 

And just one moment more and there's a group of siren blaring police cars rounding the corner after them. "Jesus shit, man, what'd you get yourself into today?" Not that Johnny minded. As many people had come to realize, the two were absolutely devious together. Any trouble one got in, the other gladly joined.

Damian turns onto a highway and revs the engine even higher, if that were possible, shoving his way across lanes without ever touching his turn signal. "Traffic outside of Friendly Fire. Some dick on a motorcycle was trying to shove it through the lanes and scraped my ride."

A car honks loudly at them and Damian shoves his favorite finger out the window. "So I busted a cap in his ass!"

"Hah!" Gat punches his shoulder. "Nice!"

The boss laughs back before taking a right away from where a turnpike sat onto a residential road. The sirens continued to follow them, even as Gat craned his torso out of the window and began shooting at their windshields. They could almost hear the cops shouting over the sound of the wind rushing through the open windows before they began returning fire.

For a brief moment, Johnny's eyes were drawn to the man beside him. He loved it when he acted bad. His strong jawline was clenched firmly, and his ridiculous tiny ponytail (That Gat had had a lot of input in the growing of) was coming out of it's bindings. 

But they stilled on the bulge that sat in the front of his jeans. Nothing out of the ordinary, really, but this fucking adrenaline always did this to him. Something about the danger of it just put his mind so far into the gutter it was impossible to get it out.

And it was bad this time. The pain of the wind whipping around his face along with the sirens that seemed like they were starting to gain with all the turns they were taking, and even the bullets that kept whizzing past them, some missing by mere inches.

"Yo, Boss!" Gat shouts, pausing to take a few more shots before Damian answered. 

"What?!" Oh, his voice said so much in just that one word. He was fucking pissed. Somehow, it sounded tight and tense. 

"You want head?" Johnny's voice had lowered just a bit, in both tone and volume. It was impossible to see his eyes behind his trademark glasses, but he had a wide smirk on his lips. 

Damian twists up his lip and glances at Gat only briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. "A little busy right now, jackass." But there was a tiny smile on his face now.

"You think I'm joking?" Johnny shifts in his seat before leaning over the middle console and propping his elbow on Damian's thigh and shoving his face almost onto the seat between his legs. "Let's see how good your control really is, you cocky bastard."

He jerks a bit and tries to shove Gat off for a moment, but then a bullet scrapes the window next to his head and he takes a much too sharp right turn, which just shoved his friend further into Damian's seat and forcing his navel onto the clutch pedal.

Briefly, the car makes an almost rumbling sound deep in it until Damian growls and grabs Gat by his shoulders, moving him off of the pedal and putting it back to the right gear. "You're a moron, y'know that?"

"Not gonna be complaining in about 5 minutes, are ya." Johnny shoots back as he clumsily starts unbottoning his friend's dark jeans. 

At that, Damian jerks his head down and glares at Johnny. "I always last longer than 5 minutes, asshole!"

"Yeah." Johnny laughs. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Apparently the Boss had warmed up to the idea at least a little bit, because he spread his legs a bit so that Johnny could shove his purple underwear down further and slip out his soft cock.

"Gonna be going on the back roads, be careful." Damian says, turning the wheel and leaning a bit. "Don't hit your head."

It was almost sweet. Despite all the cursing and insults, he was still trying to look out for him. "Don't you worry your pretty little self." Gat smirks again, though the other man can't see it anymore. "I've got a real tough head."

They lapse into a brief moment of relative silence (Although the sirens and occassional shouts of civilians still interrupt them) until Gat puts a firm grip on Damian's still cloth covered balls and grasping around the shaft to bring the head to his lips.

The Boss flinches and groans, the car almost running onto the sidewalk before he corrects it and presses harder on the gas pedal once more. "Little fucking warning, please."

Johnny raises a brow and looks up to Damian. "Thought I was being pretty clear. But here's your little warning. I'm gonna suck your fucking dick."

And at that, the gangster pops the head of the Boss's dick into his mouth. Above him, the man sucks a breath in through grit teeth and tightens his hands on the steering wheel. 

The car turns a corner, and Johnny nearly gets flung to the driver side door again, only steadying himself on Damian's thigh once again. 

The sirens were getting a bit further behind now, and the bullets were beginning to falter. Probably didn't want to risk hitting civilians. Johnny hums. The Boss was so fucking good at this. And Johnny had worked with a lot of people in this...business. He knew talent when he saw it. And it was so fucking hot. Not when anyone did it. Just Damian. Made his dick twitch everytime he heard some new tall tale from him. 

He swallows and shoves his head further down, being met with a deep groan from the man above him, who jerks again and almost slams his head into the wheel before sitting straight back up and trying his damned hardest to focus on the road that was almost flying by with their speed. 

Dear god, if they crashed into a tree or some shit and were just found like this. With Damian's cock sitting out of his pants and Gat's mouth covered in drool and shit. Their reputation would plummet. 

Somehow, that danger was sexy too though. So Gat just groaned and probably foolishly ground his hips down onto the console. He'd been taunting the Boss earlier, but he had so quickly gone from soft to full fucking mast.

That small mischevious glint enters Damian's eyes, and he shifts a hand off the wheel. "Watch your ass there, big boy." With that, he slaps him. Right on the ass. And makes sure to grip him too tightly so that his fingers clench into his crack.

Johnny rolls his eyes, and purposefully flexes his tongue so that in curls up against the head before shoving his head into his friend's crotch.

The Boss groans loud above him, and makes a left. His legs were tense and almost shaking at this point. Course they were, he was just as much of a kinky bastard as Johnny was. That was part of why they fit together so fucking well. 

He just keeps bobbing his head, moving his hand from the guy's balls to just a bit further down, massaging his knuckles into the small space between his balls and asshole.

Suddenly, the Boss almost does a full 180 into a Rim Job's garage and once again screeches to a halt as the door closes behind them. 

Almost immediately, he takes Johnny's head into his hands, and forces him further down. Which Johnny fucking loved. He'd been very...very wary of any sort of mouth play before getting in with Damian, but the man absolutely loved it. Something about this specific sort of shit just got him off so hard it was ridiculous. And it ind of got Johnny into it as well, with all the noises and shit he normally made. 

Speaking of which, the Boss was now shamelessly moaning into the empty garage and continuing to fuck Johnny's face with just the right amount of force. There was a tiny burning in his throat, and that was just adding to it all.

Then, a brief few desperate thrusts, and the Boss was on the border of shouting as he threw his head back and forced his hips off of the seat, his thighs trembling. 

Very quickly after, Johnny spits white onto his friends jacket and shoves himself up and over onto his own seat.

"Uuuuugh." Damian groans, holding his dirty coat away from him and trying to snake his arms out in the limited space. "Fucking seriously."

"You know I hate that shit." Johnny answers as he wipes off his mouth once more before poking his side and grunting. "Gonna have one hell of a bruise tommorrow."

There's a brief moment of silence before Gat speaks once again. "So, 5 minutes, huh?"

Damian's face screws up again and he smacks a hand against Johnny's arm. "8, you dick."

"I wonder..." Johnny says as if he were thinking about something, even though it's clear he knew exactly what he was going to say as he reaches over and snatches the other man's chin. "You think you're gonna last longer when I get in that tight ass?"

Damian makes to answer, but is quickly silenced by what is less of a kiss and more of a bite that he responds to immediately in kind. "Hundred bucks says you come first."

"You're on."


End file.
